Very effective. You're really good at evoking a noirish atmosphere and slipping in emotion under it without the two feeling like oil and water.
To be honest, I don't really see a connection between the previous excerpt and this one, aside from the unnamed narrator. But that's understandable, considering these are more flashes of insanity inspiration instead of a fully plotted out story yet.
no subject
To be honest, I don't really see a connection between the previous excerpt and this one, aside from the unnamed narrator. But that's understandable, considering these are more flashes of
insanityinspiration instead of a fully plotted out story yet.