Very effective. You're really good at evoking a noirish atmosphere and slipping in emotion under it without the two feeling like oil and water.
To be honest, I don't really see a connection between the previous excerpt and this one, aside from the unnamed narrator. But that's understandable, considering these are more flashes of insanity inspiration instead of a fully plotted out story yet.
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ninetydegrees
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on 2010-05-18 02:59 pm (UTC)To be honest, I don't really see a connection between the previous excerpt and this one, aside from the unnamed narrator. But that's understandable, considering these are more flashes of
insanityinspiration instead of a fully plotted out story yet.