Screw the New Year
Dec. 28th, 2006 01:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravensweptI haven't written in while...I'm assuming this, I'm lazy enough that I won't even check when my last post was. I believe this to be for a couple of reasons. Reason A, being that I haven't had the time for the past few weeks dealing with pre-Christmas life, and Reason 2 that I hate writing about my lack of writing about what I'd rather be writing about.
Let's see, what's changed in the past few days that nobody reading will care about; lost half my job right before Christmas (yay). That wasn't unexpected, and really I'm not feeling it that bad, but still it sounds depressing to write. I'm not sweating it, shifts at my primary employment will increase (and have, I don't know why I'm speaking in the past tense) and I'll actually be making more money.
Christmas came and went, and whoop-dee-fucking-doo. This year was not a holiday sharing mood for me, and I really wasn't feeling like hugs all around. I went out to my parents place, enjoyed the quite of the country; can't believe I forgot how peaceful it is out there. Got a few cool things, but we kept it small so there wasn't like major presents given or received. I did score a laptop carrier. Trying to find one for a 17" screen is harder then it sounds.
Then, I've decided, there are my New Year resolutions. Sitting down and thinking it out, I think I really need to set some goals for myself. I remember back in school, doesn't matter what year you pick, the teacher(s) would always assign you the chore of picking resolutions for yourself, and you would go and make a list to turn in so that you'd get whatever arbitrary grade they were giving. They were things that sounded good, but really you had no intention of doing. I look back and wonder why I never took it seriously. Probably because it was assigned, but really, why did I never set a goal for myself. Is this why I'm where I am?
And so, bearing past all that self indulgence crap above, here are my resolutions;
1) Learn to play the saxophone
I love this instrument, and kick my self in the ass when I think about why I stopped. I think it was a mix of young enthusiasm mixed with a bad teacher. The music teacher of the school, which was the band I was learning/playing with, was a guy who wanted to play college level bands but never had the talent or luck himself to raise that high and was stuck with private school elementary bands. He didn't try to teach the instruments so much as he wanted us to be a band that he could direct. And with kids who barely know their instruments well enough, I lost my interest in jazz sax. I want it back.
2) Learn Japanese (spoken)
This is just a practical one for me at this point. I love the language, and watch enough Japanese films (yes, more then just anime, though that does make up a large part of the list) that I'd rather be able to understand by ear then read subtitles all the time. Also, knowing a foreign language is always useful and looks good on applications.
3) Finish a story
Plain and simple, I suck. I need to finish one of any dozens of stories I've started over the years, and with more ideas coming at me something needs to be done. I want the feeling of achievement that comes from doing something from start to finish that you yourself have worked on. Something bigger then model building.
4) Get said story published
Directed related to resolution 3, as well as the main ambition for it. I want my name in print, plain and simple, and not on a wanted poster for blowing something up.
5) Achieve a higher state on independence then I currently have
I see this as having the monetary needs to have my own place to live, without roommates, and being able to pay my own bills without outside help. At the moment, I don't even have my own car. This sucks, and not just because I feel like a mooch.
6) ...
...yeah, only one other person gets to know this resolution, and you ain't it. I make this one for myself, because I do need it. It being what you don't know. And you don't because it's very personal.
Aaaaaand it past one in the morning, and s'long.
Let's see, what's changed in the past few days that nobody reading will care about; lost half my job right before Christmas (yay). That wasn't unexpected, and really I'm not feeling it that bad, but still it sounds depressing to write. I'm not sweating it, shifts at my primary employment will increase (and have, I don't know why I'm speaking in the past tense) and I'll actually be making more money.
Christmas came and went, and whoop-dee-fucking-doo. This year was not a holiday sharing mood for me, and I really wasn't feeling like hugs all around. I went out to my parents place, enjoyed the quite of the country; can't believe I forgot how peaceful it is out there. Got a few cool things, but we kept it small so there wasn't like major presents given or received. I did score a laptop carrier. Trying to find one for a 17" screen is harder then it sounds.
Then, I've decided, there are my New Year resolutions. Sitting down and thinking it out, I think I really need to set some goals for myself. I remember back in school, doesn't matter what year you pick, the teacher(s) would always assign you the chore of picking resolutions for yourself, and you would go and make a list to turn in so that you'd get whatever arbitrary grade they were giving. They were things that sounded good, but really you had no intention of doing. I look back and wonder why I never took it seriously. Probably because it was assigned, but really, why did I never set a goal for myself. Is this why I'm where I am?
And so, bearing past all that self indulgence crap above, here are my resolutions;
1) Learn to play the saxophone
I love this instrument, and kick my self in the ass when I think about why I stopped. I think it was a mix of young enthusiasm mixed with a bad teacher. The music teacher of the school, which was the band I was learning/playing with, was a guy who wanted to play college level bands but never had the talent or luck himself to raise that high and was stuck with private school elementary bands. He didn't try to teach the instruments so much as he wanted us to be a band that he could direct. And with kids who barely know their instruments well enough, I lost my interest in jazz sax. I want it back.
2) Learn Japanese (spoken)
This is just a practical one for me at this point. I love the language, and watch enough Japanese films (yes, more then just anime, though that does make up a large part of the list) that I'd rather be able to understand by ear then read subtitles all the time. Also, knowing a foreign language is always useful and looks good on applications.
3) Finish a story
Plain and simple, I suck. I need to finish one of any dozens of stories I've started over the years, and with more ideas coming at me something needs to be done. I want the feeling of achievement that comes from doing something from start to finish that you yourself have worked on. Something bigger then model building.
4) Get said story published
Directed related to resolution 3, as well as the main ambition for it. I want my name in print, plain and simple, and not on a wanted poster for blowing something up.
5) Achieve a higher state on independence then I currently have
I see this as having the monetary needs to have my own place to live, without roommates, and being able to pay my own bills without outside help. At the moment, I don't even have my own car. This sucks, and not just because I feel like a mooch.
6) ...
...yeah, only one other person gets to know this resolution, and you ain't it. I make this one for myself, because I do need it. It being what you don't know. And you don't because it's very personal.
Aaaaaand it past one in the morning, and s'long.